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Biodun and Busola
Subsequent to the ongoing rape scandal involving the Senior Pastor of COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo and wife of popular musician, Timi Dakolo, Busola, whereby instituting legal actions against each other.
A social media commentator, Comrade Westo Adekunle Adejumo has given his analysis and opinion to solve the puzzle amicably by both victims.
According to him:
Let me start by saying; if only some men calling themselves husbands, flying unnecessary justifications for rape and sexual harassment on social media know how their fiances or wives have been manipulated and molested emotionally and sexually, by some so called Men of God behind the scenes, all in the name of spiritual power and deliverance, among other stickers like; prestige, fame, power and assets that they claimed to possess, probably, the justifications for rape and sexual harassment would not have been so much on the prowl.
It is quite intresting that you see so many self-acclaimed husbands coming out on social media to say all sort in a bid to justify the social evil called rape and sexual harassment, without checking if their fiances or wives were/are victims of it.
My Opinion:
Westo Adekunle Adejumo
In this case, let me quickly say that what happened between Busola Dakolo (Wife of Timi Dakola) and the COZA Pastor; Abiodun Fatoyinbo is not an obvious rape, rather, it is a 'sex manipulation ruse', which eventually led to sexual intercourse between them. The COZA Pastor should rather be called a 'sex manipulator' and not a rapist. He had rather deceived the innocent and inexperienced Busola with sweet words, swags and flashy things to get down with her severally in those days, but rape activity was not so obvious as Busola had wanted it to be believed in her narration.
I know of a similar case of emotional manipulation from a “man of God” (since that is what they are called), which almost led to sexual manipulation. It happened to a lady so dear to me a long time ago. (She was a friend’s finance). It took God's intervention and quick action from us to interrupt the evil deal and sex trap by the Power-Bike Pastor. Only God knows the numbers of ladies who had fallen victims of the sex trap by this same Power-Bike Pastor.
May I also say that; 'RAPE' is not only when sex or sexual intercourse is forcefully done by a man to a woman. While a man can rape, so also a woman can rape. But, in the case of some fake Men of God, we should know that there are other forms of rape / raping activities, which does not involve sexual intercourse. Many forms of rape are very common amongst some fake pastors in some churches today.
This other forms of rape include:
- Physical Rape: This is the most common rape in our society. It usually involved physical attack, rough-handling, threats, etc., against the rapist prey before sex. It is a forceful way of getting down with a victim that does not consent before sexual intercourse.
- Mental Rape: This is an abuse of the mind. The rapist strategically changes the mind of the woman, making her feel that her real partner is not romantic and sexy. Technique for mental rape by fake pastors include: stylishly flirt, sweet-talks and intimidation through materials things to win the heart of a woman. The fake pastor will create a paradise in the woman's heart against her hustling husband. When this happens, the woman will start nagging and picking up unnecessary quarrel with her husband at home, and always run to the pastor for intimacy without reason.
Spiritual Rape: This is also very common in our society. This usually happens when a pastor turns himself to a small god before a woman. This happens when a pastor determines what a woman should be doing to her real husband in her marriage. This happens when a pastor stylishly becomes so powerful to a woman and made himself to be so fearful and respectful to such woman than her husband. This is when a pastor sinisterly control the woman's brain and lock her up to himself. The pastor will make himself the only one that can lead her aright. Sometimes, the woman will even be seeing the pastor in the dream. She will be melting and be horny for the pastor unnecessarily, while stylishly disliking her husband. Woman in this kind of rape will always have issues with any decision made by her husband at home, and will never be loyal to her husband like the pastor. She will always consult her pastor before taking a personal decision on her own. Such a woman can even go to the length of asking her pastor secretly if she should allow her husband to have sex with her whenever her husband is demanding or making some moves for it. The husband will never be in control of the home, rather, the pastor will be the one in charge.
- Emotional Rape: This is when a woman is made not to find her husband sexy and romantic like her fake pastor. Sometimes, it may be natural and it may also be as a result of personal relationship or contact that such woman has with the pastor. Is usually achieved when a pastor turns himself to an unnecessary gist mate to a woman. Pastor at times will turn himself to chat mate for funny and romantic gist, and make himself admirable to a woman. It can be noticed when a woman is usually found laughing with everything the pastor does or says. Even if the woman sights the image of the pastor on the wall or poster, ordinary image I mean, she will be staring so much, laughing, smiling and may even scream, if not moan. Most married women have turned their spiritual fathers to imaginary lovers. It reminds me of the Atlanta Rhythm Section hit single "Imaginary lover" released in 1978. The song says a lot about fantasy affairs and how they can often trump reality, as fantasies are flawless, while real people have flaws and impose their own reality. At times, when she is asked to do something or get something for you as her husband, she will tell you she is busy listening to her pastor's sermon or still reading about her pastor handout that she is not ready. And when you question her as the husband, she will leave you in the house and run to church or anywhere to meet her pastor, and even call you a troublemaker before her pastor.
- Psychological Rape: This is the most common amidst those fake Men of God at their various fake churches. Here, those poor but good looking women or ladies are usually the victims. This form a rape happens when a pastor gets so closed to a poor woman or lady and continuously preaching about wealth and fortunes to her. The pastor will be so caring in monitoring her activities and know every bit of her movement. The pastor will buy her material things and give her every audience she wants. He will become her confidant and show her exclusive free love. He will not miss a day without giving her some words of advice. The pastor will call her and send sexy inspirational messages to her all the time. The pastor will not even ask the woman about how her husband or partner is fairing and how she can be a good wife to her hustling husband or partner, rather, he will be secretly intensifying his feelings to the known of the woman and win her heart to himself, in order to get down with her. At times, the pastor will preach about high level and good places she would be if she can stay out of her home for some times and be in intensive, private and intimate prayer session with him for deliverance without involving anyone. She will even be told not to tell her husband if she doesn't want the evil doers and destiny monitoring team to continue following her. Once an average woman encounters this form of rape, she gets confused and disturbed. Her husband will become a threat to her and she will give a place in her heart to the pastor. She will gets attracted to the fake Man of God and become his gist mate. She will expose herself and all her secret to the pastor. Even what her real husband does not know about her will be discussed and known to the pastor. She will be thinking that everybody around her, including her hustling husband is the reason why she is poor and not progressing. She will start disliking her husband gradually and start seeing herself as a tied-down woman by her husband. She will think she was forced to marry her husband and start seeing her husband's mistakes at every step, while her mind will always be with the fake pastor. She will lose every bit of emotional feelings she has for her husband and start disrespecting him stylishly. She will not have any single belief in anyone except the pastor, and she will not find any comfort in her home. She will always want to see the pastor as the only comforter that can give her a shoulder to lean on.
Many grown women and young ladies are facing a lot in the hand of their spiritual fathers, the fear of being stigmatized among other negative tags and shames is the reason why many of them are still keeping quiet.
Furthermore, it is not only Pastors that are guilty of this offences, its almost becoming a norm in some high places like; Mosques, Schools, Banking industry, Entertainments industry, Government offices, etc., amongst the Bosses, Directors and people in positions of power and authority. This is a call out to everyone involved in this social evil to stop the molestation now.
Dear Rich Man, Lecturer, Bank Manager, Politician, Iman, Herbalist, Inspirational Speaker, Star Entertainer, Boss, Man of God etc., please stop destroying people's homes. Stop taking advantage of those women and young ladies in the name spirituality, deliverance, power, money, employment, adventure, etc. Places of worship and excellence should not be places of rape and fornication. 'Holy Spirit' is not the same as 'Holy Flirting'. Leave other people's fiancees alone, leave other people's wives alone, leave other people's future wives alone.
To every beautiful, ugly and special woman reading this article anywhere in the world, please, stop yielding to exploitation, stop loving money and material things more than your dignity. Stop narrating and discussing the weakness of your husband or home affairs around to seek sympathy. Don't think that a man will be there for you all the time for free of charge. Sooner or later, that same man helping or supporting you secretly will manipulate you, enslave you, destroy you and your home, and use you as a testimony. Always know that most of the people you have taken your story to get support and succour from are in their own homes, keeping their homes intact, while you are already out of your own home.
Stop thinking that when a celebrity or rich man or spiritual man have sex with you, his fame, wealth, or prestige will be transferred to you through sexual intercourse. No, it will never be transferred to you.
Always have it in mind that - any secret relationship or extra marital affairs you keep outside your marriage or against your spouse will only be secret for a while, which will eventually be exposed and destroy you in the nearest future.
Isaiah 29:15 says it all: "Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the LORD, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say; who sees us or who knows us".
Lastly, let us all be courteous to all but ultimate with few.
- I am - Westo Adekunle Adejumo, A Social Commentator & Public Analyst.
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# Twitter: @westo4live
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