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You cannot really tell the number of women who are friend zoned because most women will not comfortably tell you how they wanted a man and were rejected.
The same thing applies when you want to count women who are breadwinners. Women blatantly lie to help their husbands save face.
Over the years, I have realized that the number of men who are domestically abused may not be as much as women because biology and other factors. But it could be really high as most men will never admit that their spouses did beat them to a pulp.
The society will eat them raw.
VIRAL
That is the same feeling I have right now as I write on the International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence In Conflict.
Women and girls suffer a great deal during and after the war. They are not only killed, but they are also raped, kidnapped, sold, made into sex slaves, could get pregnant and have to bear these children. It is a vicious, vicious ordeal for women and girls during war.
But during the war, there is something that happens that is so well kept a secret that it is treated as a rumor. This is because it is usually denied by both perpetrators and victims.
It is something that most government agencies and human rights defenders actually want to wish away.
It is the rape and molestation of boys during conflict.
In Africa, this is worse because of homophobia and patriarchy.
You as a man is not permitted to be weak or vulnerable here. Plus, if people ever found out that you "allowed yourself to be raped by a man" tsk tsk tsk... The extreme shame and stigma have forced victims to remain silent.
"How Boko Haram and War Affects Women" People are very aware of these happening even though sadly, we have not tackled it at all.
Women come out and people have these conversations. It is in the News. Agencies rise up and hope to give these women succor.
But are men raped during war and conflict? Huh?!
YES!
During the Bosnia War in the 1990s, almost 5000 men held in detention camp were raped.
In Liberia, Congo, Sri Lanka, all over the world people have slowly begun to document sexual crimes against men in conflicts.
In Nigeria, there is non-existent research on the matter.
We are yet to accept fully that rape is generally not the victim's fault or that boys being molested by women is not a passage rite.
REVEALING
So even the perpetrators of these violent crimes will be in the forefront saying how their religion forbids homosexuality, the victims will deny it fast and claim he sat on a porcupine hence the blood on his pants and other men will tell them to suck it up if it ever happened.
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